Horoscopes

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Horoscopes

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Aquarius

 

This February, those of you under the sign of Aquarius will be met with complete and utter… disappointment.  You’re kindness and compassion will drive away all the sarcastic and aggressive people in your life; the same ones that made your life entertaining.  Welcome to self-loathing. Have a wonderful day.

Pisces

 

This February, those of you under the sign of Pisces will find hordes of new friends awaiting you.  You’re general mysteriousness will draw those of the opposite gender (or the same if you swing that way) to you.  However, in order to maintain that attractive and mysterious appearance, you’ll have to keep those new friends at an arm’s length; welcome to the world of loneliness.

Aries

 

This February, those of you under the sign of Aries will find that your ambition and aggressiveness will lead to newfound experiences.  In the order of romance though, you might find yourselves met face-to-face with new challenges and tribulations as your romantic partners might not be too comfortable with your general straight-forward nature… good luck.

Taurus

 

This February, those of you under the sign of Taurus will not find anything.  No change. Where you are now is where you’ll be. Don’t like it? Well the stars have spoken; get over it.

Gemini

 

This February, those of you under the sign of Gemini will find that you already know what’s going to happen.  You’re curious and manic nature means you probably already investigated the future, so frankly the stars don’t think it’s very important for any more information to be relayed.  Just remember, if you end up getting surprised, you probably aren’t a real Gemini – that’s the only logical conclusion…

Cancer

 

This February, those of you under the sign of Cancer will find yourselves searching for love, and with the energy of Valentine’s Day still fresh in the air, you might just find it.  Or not. It’s more about the search for love rather than the actual attaining of it. So, try your hardest, but the stars make no promises.

Leo

 

This February, those of you under the sign of Leo will find yourselves having trouble with your primary mission in life.  With the school year nearing its terminus, you will find others have little to no patience for people who try to be the center of attention.  Now the stars aren’t accusing you of anything, they’re just saying… thin ice.

Virgo

 

This February, those of you under the sign of the Virgo will find that your desires and plans will soon come to fruition.  So, take a deep breath and everything will be alright. On another note, please hand the computer or phone to a nearby friend.  The rest is for them… Okay, your Virgo friends are going to explode any day now! Be as nice as possible because they are stressed and they are not dealing with their emotions in a healthy way.  You have been warned.

Libra

 

This February, those of you under the sign of Libra will find that you’ll have an easier time making decisions… maybe.  You’re general indecisiveness is finally at an end… or is it? You’re loved ones will all spend their time with you in an effort to have fun, enjoy nature, eat good food, and more… or will they?  You can do whatever you want, unless you don’t want to, or maybe it’s not up to you… the stars aren’t quite sure.

Scorpio

 

This February, those of you under the sign of Scorpio will find love in an unexpected place.  You and this individual will enjoy each other’s time, grow closer emotionally, and share many tender moments together.  However, being a Scorpio means being independent, so you’re kind of out of luck. So enjoy the time you have with your new partner while you can. It sure isn’t going to last.

Sagittarius

 

This February, those of you under the sign of Sagittarius will be brought even closer to understanding the true meaning of life.  Unfortunately, you won’t find it. You’ll get within arm’s reach, but it’ll just keep escaping you. When asked about your romantic future, the stars seemed a little uncomfortable… evidently the meaning of life and your romantic future are closely tied.

Capricorn

 

This February, those of you under the sign of Capricorn will be presented with many opportunities for love, advancement in your career, healthy steps in relationships, wonderful new experiences, environmental changes that will benefit you, and spiritual awakening… too bad your goal-oriented mindset is going to turn on tunnel vision and all those opportunities, frankly, aren’t in that tunnel.  Ouch, sorry, that has to hurt. The stars are not always kind.